On the Mountain

Here I am, in the early morning, my sleeping husband resting atop a giant pillow bed. He's like the Princess and the Pea atop a hundred matresses, still rankling about her terrible sleep, but he is sleeping. I, as anyone who knows me knows, sleep rarely.

Last night we took a shuttle to a casino in the woods. It was something I never thought I'd do on my honeymoon, but we had coupons and time to kill, so off we went to play the slots. I made $5 on the 1 cent machines. E pulled in $30 from the bigger ones. We returned to the hotel to celebrate with virgin dacquiries.

This will be our third day in adult Disneyland. I don't mind. Sunning by a pool, drinking fruity drinks, reading, all this pleases me. I do not need to do anything cultural, or physically challenging to feel rested and rejuvenated, although we did hike the mountain yesterday morning. Really, really, I just need to relax and process what feels like my life's continental drift.

 I brought Menage by Alix Kates Shulman, The Forgotten Waltz by Anne Enright, and The Virgin in the Garden by A.S. Byatt. I finished the first, am almost through the second, and will struggle to get back into the third. Menage was satiric and entertaining, about an almost affair and writing, but not moving in any way. I have to admit, I like to be moved by novels. The Forgotten Waltz, about an actual affair, really isn't honeymoon reading. It is lyrical in that Irish way, but I find it difficult to enjoy prose about lust. I suppose I am not really lusty. I don't understand risking everyone's hearts for something as fleeting as desire. 

I think E agrees with me on this. That's what started this all. We were the ones left behind.

Anyway, starting off at marriage at "middle age" - Oh God, am I really (??!) - will be a challenge on many levels, but maybe we know ourselves well enough not to risk love for sex? Or possibly, we just aren't the types to do that. Well, I know I'm not.

We have a room with a view. It was an upgrade. We watched the moon skirt the mountain our first night here, which was quite romantic.

E keeps saying, "I'm having so much fun, babe." I keep thinking the theme of this marriage and new family will be fun. It will be a welcome respite from the drudge of my own life . . . which I'll soon have to manage better . .. and find a way to enliven , if not infuse with fun.

Meanwhile, I'll enjoy this. I'll read about affairs and believe in fun, fidelity, and love.