Bummer, Not Bummer Summer?

I'm still not sure about this summer . . . what it is isn't yet clear to me. It has been both lovely and terrible in equal measure.

I have been blessed with time this year, and it has meant that I have been able to spend most of it with A, swimming in pools, going to cottages, following her wishes and whims and some of my own. She is becoming a little girl who can travel and it is hugely gratifying to bring her with me, whether it is to remote places or city centres.

The hard part has been dealing with having her less and continuing to have to worry about what's happening when she isn't with me. I have heard stories about at least two of her father's "friends" and details about his lack of supervision of her in the water and his negligence in relation to her travel in his and other's cars. So, I worry. His "partner" and his son have fled Ottawa and are now somewhere on Montreal's south shore. He's visiting them, with A, at the end of August. I do wonder how long those visits will last.

Otherwise, E and I have been carefully picking our way through the difficult terrain of blending families by talking it through with a couple counsellor. After perhaps 12 sessions to date, everything seems far more complicated than it did before and I hesitate to move forward at all. However, it doesn't hurt to wait . . . there is no hurry . . . except that I feel that I'm waiting on something, which I hate.

The summer is half over now, too, and it feels like I'm running out of time . . . but I'm not sure why.

So, not bummer? Bummer? Only time will tell.