Spring again?

I'm not sure what to make of this season, the actual one, and this one in my life, they are equally unsettled times. The only way I get through my life these days is by distracting myself with thoughts of happier, simpler, consistently warmer times ahead. Thankfully, I also have blissful moments with A and with E that carry me through and make me connect to my immediate experience, whether we are all out walking in the sun, or at St. Hubert for chicken, or just hangin' on the couch. There is an attention to each day and it is its own small celebation, in a way, even as I spend a lot of my energy racing ahead in time in mind to relieve the anxiety of waiting. I could be waiting forever . . . so I have to stop and just let things evolve. There are always shifts and changes and things turn out to be either more important or less than I thought and it is always a relief to know that.