Dads' Post-Partum Depression

There was an article in yesterday's Globe & Mail about dads' experience of post-partum depression. I would have linked it, but I can't find it. Anyway, it does say that post-partum is, in large part, caused by sleep deprivation and that this peaks three-months post-partum. It also states that men display aggression and volatility as symptoms.

Reading this, I remember that when A was 4 months old, my ex threatened to leave me if I couldn't get her to "sleep through the night." Ferberize is another term for this. Needless to say, my attachment parenting style was not in accord with his demands. This led to a lot of tension.

It strikes me now, looking back, that he was likely experiencing the post-partum that he attributed to me. I wasn't depressed, but he was, I think, and that led him to act out in all kinds of ways.

Now, a couple months after the birth of his baby boy, I wonder if he is coping any better.

Today, I got notice that he rejected my proposal and wants to go to a Case Conference in July. This is incredibly frustrating. It will mean a huge expense of time and money and for no real gain. We could negotiate an agreement now, if he were willing, but he is invested in conflict and thinks, I suppose, that he'll get what he wants by bullying things to court. The problem is, I can't not go. I tried to offer a reasonable solution, but if he won't negotiate, I'm forced to go through this legal process that I have no faith in.

His antagonism hasn't waned since he left. I'm still the scapegoat for his hostility three years later. Having a second child has had no ameliorative effect, obviously, he's just as volatile as ever, maybe even more so because he is mired in a second round of post-partum depression/aggression.