All Lawyers are . . .

Insert an unnamed expletive in the above title. When I was first separated there was a MacLean's Magazine article with a similar title on the newstands. The author, I forget who, a lawyer himself, admitted that lawyers intentionally overbill and manipulate their clients.

I have seen this firsthand. Most recently, with my ex-lawyer, M.S., who came highly recommended to me by a friend of 20+ years and a psychologist I consulted about how to handles the custody battle. This so-called professional was exceptionally negligent. When I asked him why he hadn't forwarded my proposal, he pointed to an email I wrote to him asking to speak to him before anything was sent. "Yes," I said, "I needed to speak to you, but you didn't get back to me."

"I was in court," he replied.

As if that means he couldn' t at least spare me a 5-minute call, particularly in light of the fact that he told E and I that he had spoken to my ex's lawyer twice that week. He neglected to tell me what was said. Another error. He also, apparently, was served with a motion for a Case Conference, but on Thursday when we met with him, he didn't give me a copy of that motion or tell me when the date was scheduled. How can anyone deal with someone like that?

E thought he was ridiculous. I was furious and shouldn't have been soothed out of the office by E, because I left with absolutely no information and after spending $5000 on this incompetent oaf, I should have something to show for it.

Now, I'm looking for another lawyer, but the problem is, in a place this small, they are all part of the same club. When I called around on Friday looking for someone and mentioned M.S., one of the lawyers I was speaking to said, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine." Well, that took him out of the running for me. The problem I have now, as I've had previously, is that now I feel desperate. When you are desperate, you don't tend to make good choices. Can anyone out there recommend a good family law lawyer? I can certainly provide a list of terrible ones . . .

The most interesting conversation I had on Friday was with a Forensic Psychologist who would be able to critique the recent reassessment report for any actual court appearance. He knows Dr. W. and says his work is amateurish and often criticized. He also said my ex's lawyer is known as a "dirty lawyer." Unfortunately, I have to deal with all of this.

As E points out, the report was not all bad, so do I try to have it thrown out because of its ultimate recommendation for shared time? That's my dilemma. The Forensic Psychologist speculated that my ex-husband is not likely to stop with his demands, even if he gets his 50%. My friend in Vancouver who has been through something similar concurs. But my concern is always that sharing 50% time with a hostile person will be a nightmare. If my ex truly cared about his daughter and could set aside his ego and work in her best interests (which is my hope) then it could work, but I just don't think he is capable of that.

As one of the lawyers I consulted said, "Resolution really depends on a person's willingness to settle. Often personal issues interfere with a logical solution."

She's the lawyer I want, if I can get her, but finding a good lawyer is a huge challenge in itself.