Blomkvist's Sex Life

The one problem I have with the novels is Blomkvist's sexual philandering. [Spoiler Alert!!!]
In the last novel, Blomkvist's sister tells Salander, "My brother is completely irresponsible when it comes to relationships. He screws his way through life and doesn't seem to grasp how much it can hurt those women who think of him as more than a casual affair" (519). It seems strange to be that this character claims to respect and trust women, yet he never allows himself to become too deeply involved. I suppose that's his tragic flaw . . . but I have trouble with the last book's assertion that he's in love . . . because I don't think he's capable of intimate love. He's better with friends and benefits. His "relationship" with Monica Figuerola seems completely implausible to me.

I've never been attracted to men who take their attraction for granted. I prefer men in the rough. Blomkvist is entirely too cocky for my taste.

Now, I'm still not sure what to make of E in this regard. He told me once that he wanted women to want him. I was not impressed. At the same time he said, "I'm not attracted to many women." (Thankfully, however, he's not attracted to men, which is a pleasant change from my ex-husband, who told me otherwise.) He also said, more importantly, "I only love you." I hope I don't have to interpret anything more into that.

If someone needs the attention of multiple others, or specifically strangers, to feel desirable, then I think that's a problem. If someone sleeps around with multiple people in order to feel attractive and validated, that's even more of a problem. I wouldn't tolerate being one of many, or even one of a few, partners. Apparently some people don't mind, but I find that implausible as well. It is already hard enough on me to be with someone with an ex-wife, because of the kids, she will always be in his life, poking around, feeling some sense of entitlement (many would add, rightly so).

I think intimacy requires commitment. If people can't handle intimacy, then I think they are not fully functional. They may be interesting, they may be fun, but they aren't entirely healthy. I guess a fictional character doesn't need to be, but a partner does. Unfortunately, finding someone who is capable of true partnership is a challenge.

I think I'm capable now . . . was I able to be truly intimate with my ex-husband? No. I couldn't be because I couldn't trust him. We pretended at love and intimacy, but I think we both knew it was an act and that is why it didn't last long. His family knew it wouldn't . . . I gathered that from his mother's sidelong looks and the comments some others made about A "coming from a good place." It was weird to be part of that and I'm glad I don't have to be exposed to their judgements now, at least not in my hearing.

Sex is always tricky though because for so many people intimacy is not required. The sexual act is more recreational than emotional for them. The problems arise when people approaching sex differently collide . . . Salander's experience with Blomkvist is a perfect example of this . . .