Beautiful and Imperfect

I have resigned myself now to a life that is imperfect. Nonetheless, it is still beautiful. I can appreciate my morning bikeride along the river to A's school, the ants crawling through my kitchen, the daisies sprouting among the weeds at the edges of my lawn, my daughter's gentle hugs goodbye. There is no word from my lawyer, aside from a bill I haven't opened. The deadline for a reply is this Friday, but I'm convinced it will come and go. I may have to go to court. It would be a stupid thing to do, but I have my ex to thank for that.

Meanwhile, E's birthday (and his son's - same day) is on the horizon. I don't know what to get him. He's planning a mini-golf party and is inviting his ex-wife's "gang," as well as A and me and some of his son's friends. It will be interesting if nothing else. I pray for as little excitement as possible.

I'm finally back to work, which is a huge relief after almost 2 weeks without. As a contractor, I have very little recourse. I have to look for more permanent work, but I love the flexibility of my current situation, working my own hours from home. Again, my imperfect life is somehow beautiful, and while I appreciate everything I have . . . there is still more I wish I did have . . .

E says, "You have me," but he says that from a city away.