Weekend Alone

I always look forward to the precious few weekends alone with my husband. This is one of them, except, well, he's out at his daughter's 17th birthday party and I'm at home, eating leftovers. It is better this way. I don't have to endure the craziness of his ex-wife, her 3rd husband, his Aspie son, his Aspie daughter, their ODD half-sister, and his ex-father in law. I really can't handle all that dysfunction at one time. I can barely handle being alone with my Aspie partner.

Yesterday, we went out to try a new restaurant. It was Friday and I was exhausted, and told him that I didn't have much energy, hoping he'd make the effort to carry our conversation . . . but that didn't happen. Instead, he sat across from me, blankly, while he awaited his meal. His conversation focused on the meal, but after that topic was more than exhausted, he was back to his blankness. I couldn't do much more than tolerate it, but later . . . waking in the middle of the night, I tried to talk to him about it, and his response was that he was "trying" to engage with me and that what he was doing was "all he could do." It is hard not to be offended by that.

When we do have these weekends alone, I hope that we can connect and enjoy spending time together without our kids and their varied needs and demands, but it never works out that way. We are so far apart now that I feel like we'll never be able to reconnect. Then what? Where do I go from here? What to I do if all he can give me is a blank stare and excuses for why he can't communicate with me?

It's discouraging.