I feel so lucky that I can sit here in a quiet room at the library and work. I mean, it is really a luxury to have this. I don't have internet at home right now, but having this means that I can stay connected.
This weekend, A and I will be coming back here together to do research for her school project on Chinese New Year. A grade 2 project isn't really about the kid doing research, it's about the parent doing it with the kid, which is okay, I guess, but it isn't something I've had to do before. E used to complain about this . . . but now that his son is in grade 6, E is almost off the hook. My mouth is just opening to receive the worm.
I can't remember a time my parents helped me with homework, but maybe I'm not remembering as far back as grade 2. Still, I think things have changed.
Haven't they? My friend H and I were talking about fathers and how absent our fathers were. Did they do much of anything with us? Not really. At least now fathers seem to get involved. I can be thankful, for all his flaws, A's father does do things with her. Really, she does benefit from that, when it happens.
But how much time do we need to spend with a 7-year-old? It has been such a relief to have A quite happily retire to her room to draw or browse her books (not quite reading) or play. She can do that and be quiet, so I'm thankful. She's not plugged into any device yet . . . she's just plugging into her own interests.
That means I can too, sometimes. Here now . . . for a brief bit . . . and for snatches of time later.
Which reminds me of watching The Motherload last Thursday night on Doc Zone on CBC television. I'm not alone, it seems, in feeling overwhelmed by multiple roles and responsibilities, the most important and pressing of which is my daughter. I've always prioritized her . . . and, as a result, my career has suffered, if not sputtered to a complete standstill. Will I ever regret this?
Probably not. But why is it necessary?
Shouldn't we all be asking why we have to compromise so much of our family and personal lives for our work?
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Hello! Thanks for commenting. My Ph.D. including a lot of feminist theory, so I certainly am familiar with the feminist greats, but I wonder how they'd view what is happening now . . . I mean, women are working, but are not really in the positions they should be because the workplace is so inhospitable. We also take on more emotional work, which is hard to quantify. Real work and emotional work seem to clash, too, which makes everything harder. I'm not sure what the answer is . . . for me, it is working part-time at something that doesn't challenge me enough to feel rewarding, or pay me enough to feel adequate.
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