Facebook stalking

Guilty.

There was so much ice everywhere yesterday that I couldn't leave the house. I hate driving, so there was no way that I could drive, when I couldn't make it to the driveway without falling. So, I stayed in and . . . facebook stalked my sister's children. There's a reason for this.

I haven't seen them in more than 12 years since my mother's funeral. My sister cut off all contact soon after that. It was an inheritance issue . . . I think. She never explained. She just absented herself and refused contact. As a result, I'm reduced to keeping up through facebook, which is remarkably easy to do. In fact, it feels almost like being there, even though I'm not even a friend. I can view pictures and see comments and imagine . . .

Maybe that kind of distant contact is what is most manageable for many people. Why else would facebook be such a phenomenon?

It not only allows us to reconnect with the past in a voyeuristic way . . . we can actually contact people who we have lost touch with. I did that too. I was able to connect with a boy I really liked in my twenties . . . and see how gracefully he's aged into a good man, husband, and father. As I told him, that's encouraging, especially when I feel so utterly lost.

I told my good friend this yesterday and she said I shouldn't worry. I should just be, I shouldn't worry so much about doing.

That's not so easy, because worrying is the one thing I can do.