Falling on Deaf Ears

I found a site with free legal information podcasts which offers many informative seminars. The only thing is, the more I listen to these talks, the more I think that there may never be an end to this conflict. One particularly useful session for me was called "High Conflict People in Legal Disputes." It described perfectly what I'm experiencing with a spouse who seems compelled to litigate for no rational reason. However, there didn't seem to be a way to avoid legal disputes with people like this and the speaker made a point of saying often because these people are so emotionally emphatic, they seem to have credibility in court. Certainly, I know my ex has been persuasive enough to convince Dr. W of his "case." His lawyer is also far more aggressive and dirty than mine. I'm not sure what to do with that. My ex does not really want to resolve our custody conflict or communicate effectively, that's obvious. What can one person do when the other refuses to negotiate?