Annul

1. declare invalid
2. cancel, abolish

What was most striking to me about episode 7 of Asunder was the story of the woman whose husband attempted to have their 20+ year marriage annulled. It so happens that my ex's father was responsible for this type of thing as a canon law "judge." He was also, ironically, the person who pushed us into a Catholic wedding. We sat down with him and my ex's mother, both staunch Catholics, to tell them that we were thinking of a small non-denominational ceremony. Well, my ex's father got so angry that he literally stood up, clenched his heart, and teetered, saying it would kill him if we didn't have a Catholic wedding. There isn't much you can say to that.

We ended up having the Catholic wedding; now I'm wondering if it has been annulled. Could he annul it without me? I actually asked Father Joe about this (yes, he performed our wedding), and he said that couldn't happen, but I'm not Catholic and I don't trust the Catholic church.

E's Catholic too. So, I guess we can't get married in the Catholic church, not that I'd want to do that again. I can't imagine how it would feel to actually be a person of faith in that church and have it turn on you and annul your marriage.

My ex is now living with a Jewish woman. They are raising their son Jewish and celebrating Jewish holidays. She's also divorced. I can't help but wonder how they dealt with the marriage question.

Interestingly, E's ex-wife was the one who insisted they marry, as she looked down on common-law status. As he is quick to point out, the very unions she judged inferior to her own marriage have lasted longer than their partnership. He's not that into marriage. Thankfully, he is into me and quotes Elizabeth Gilbert when he says, "I love you so much, I'll even marry you."

Hmm . . . I wonder if that is a good place to start.