Nothing is straightforward

I thought I'd jump in the car, zip downtown, run on the treadmill, sit in the whirlpool and have a rejuvenating experience.

I forgot about the parade. Traffic was unusually slow as I approached the University, then I noticed at the last minute that the bridge was blocked, and so I parked in E's spot at the U and decided to walk to my spa experience. Well, once there, I realized there would be no relaxing tonight. The little gym was packed, as was the pool and sauna. So, I turned around and walk/ran back to the U, got the car, and came home. It took about an hour, all in.

Now I'm back, having had a brisk walk in the cold, but not much else, other than diversion. I'm left to let thoughts of the past week settle, which is what I've been doing all day. It's hard to be an introvert, as every experience requires so much processing.

I think this way. If my ex gets his wish to have the second-phase of the integration schedule implemented in January, then I will have gotten what I asked for initially, which was a longer first-stage integration. I just hope that A, who is exhibiting troubling signs of stress, will be okay. She's my main concern, as I pour money into this horrible and fruitless process. My second issue is the mobility one. I want to be able to live with E someday, even if it isn't any time soon. The judge we consulted on Thursday didn't think my living on the other side of the river was much of an issue. My ex is opposing it because 1. he doesn't want me to go on with my life and be happy and 2. he's afraid that my living with E will mean he will still be on the hook for child support, which he hopes will end with a 50/50 timeshare.

Anyway, it is all ridiculous and I think lawyers are ruthless people and the process is brutal to everyone involved.

What can I do now but submit to it and try to see beyond it? The good thing is that I'm good at thinking my way through things, even if my imagination also haunts me as I go through this.