"No, honey, you don't really want to end our marriage."

I read an interview this morning with Laura Munson, author of This Is Not the Story You Think It Is: A season of Unlikely Happiness. I found her brief comments so inspiring that I clipped the review and will buy the book. She says at one point, "This book is not about strategzing to keep your marraige or hold on to your partner. It's more of a philosophy to preserve your own well-being during any crisis." Now, who couldn't use that kind of advice?

I know I could have used it. I didn't have any sense of what I was up against when this all began. Now, I realize that you need extremely wise people around you in a crisis, preferably those who have weathered a few crises of their own.

I'm thinking of starting a business to assist people in weathering nasty custody battles because you really do need someone to help you refocus and redefine what it is you want, especially when you are drafting documents which will define you and your child's life ever after.


Meanwhile, I talked to my love about this article and his experience:

Munson, apparently, waited out the storm of her husband's unrest.

He explained, "I think I tried to do that too. I let her have the affair. I waited. I thought maybe she'd come around, but she didn't."

I realize I did a lot of waiting and hoping too. I kept the house and kept letting him in the house to be with the baby. I went to mediation. I took the "You're not my soulmate," phrase on the chin. However, much like my current partner experienced, my ex didn't come around.

Sometimes "riding out the storm" doesn't work. Sometimes the storm devastates you and drives you in an entirely new direction. However, the good news is, sometimes this type of clearing and refocusing is exactly what you need to get what you've always really wanted.