Kramer vs. Kramer

When I was about nine, I saw the movie Kramer vs. Kramer. It was probably the first adult movie I ever saw and I found it devastating and cried uncontrollably. I don't remember it clearly now, except that the mother seemed to have left her son and husband and they had to struggle along without her, and did. * * * Okay, that is the plot, essentially, except she eventually returns, they battle for custody, she wins, then when she goes to pick up her son, she decides to leave him with his dad.

Now, thinking about my previous entry, I can't help but believe that at some level my young self knew that divorce and custody would figure prominently in my life. I remember returning home from that movie and falling into my mother's arms.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I could barely speak. I know I finally sputtered, "Promise me that you and dad won't ever get a divorce."

My mother didn't answer right away and I cried harder.

"Promise me," I pleaded.

My mother hugged me, "I can't promise you something like that," she explained. "I just don't know."

Was it the temper of the times in 1979 or my mother's own reservations about her marriage or life in general that led her to answer that way? I'll never know. I do know that the movie struck a nerve with me . . . and now I know why . . .