Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It is time to start again. School is on the horizon. A is starting a new one and I'm hopeful this school will be a better fit for her. I'm hoping this year will be easier all round. The first year of stepdom was awful, but the second isn't supposed to be much of an improvement.

E's ex is causing everyone a lot of anxiety. She's increasingly unable to handle her dysfunctional marriage or care for her kids. That leaves us stepping up . . . and this isn't easy on me. I rarely see E, which isn't how I imagined marriage would be. I'm convinced that second marriages are an entirely different entity.  I wish someone would have explained this earlier. There isn't any honeymoon period, it's all itch.

Anyway, here we all are. My ex is apparently talking marriage with a new love interest, someone A has never met. That may well complicate everything even more. Will there be another step-sibling on the horizon for A? I hope not. She's heartbroken now at not seeing her half-brother now that her father has given up on visitation. I can do little about that other than wait it out and hope that they can reconnect someday.

This transition time is all about hope . . . and change. May we all weather it well . . .

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Mid-Summer

Mid-summer is like mid-life . . . I don't want to believe I'm there.

A is off with her dad today and soon off on a summer vacation with him for 6 days, the longest she'll ever have been away from me. Maybe that's why I'm in such a bad mood. There's also the fact that E's kids are returning from their vacation today . . . never something I look forward to, although he does. It is bound to be like this.

Good news is . . . I had a reading of my new play this week . . . and it went well. I'll now start in on some revisions and hopefully do something with it once I'm satisfied with it. It's been a long way back to playwrighting since my first attempt in my early twenties, but after seeing The Madrid  in New York this spring, I thought I really should take it up again, the haters be damned, so I have, and will and that's it.

This has been a glorious summer. I've loved it. I'm reluctant for it to end. I want life to uncurl like it, a stream of explorations and discoveries. At the same time . . . I've been experiencing stress and doubt . . . but I suppose that's inevitable.

E and I have made it to our paper anniversary. For that, I'm thankful. We're not perfect, but we're okay . . . we're fine . . . we're still here. . . and maybe after another year . . . it will be better. When it is just us two, we are fine, the kids make it complicated, but they are unavoidable.

Seasons change . . . they will too, we'll all go on and maybe, maybe, someday, it will get easier.